Thursday, January 1, 2009

"Happy is what happens when all your dreams come true..."

We come. We go. And in between we try to understand.
Rod Steiger

I'm in a strange place right now. It is the end of the first day of potentially the best year of my life. Behind me, I have Ballston Spa, Dante Rasera, my old house, Jo-Jo, Galway, Matt Gayken, Mrs. Koines' couch, "firsts," a mile time under 11 minutes, a 206% English average, soc-hops, kisses, bus rides, band trips, innocence, plays, Nick, graduation, Poughkeepsie, Steven, Kelly, band, LAS as we know it, etc.
Ahead of me, I have Australia, internships, adventures, travelling, New Zealand, new foods, new friends, new relationships, senior year of college (ahh! how did this happen?!), graduation, job-searching, and then...
the real world. Which, the more I see of it, the less I'm looking forward to it.
We had dinner with one of my sister's married girl friends the other night, and she was miserable. It reminded me of the song from Wicked, "Thank Goodness":
Yes -
We couldn't be happier,
Right, dear?
Couldn't be happier
Right here
Look what we've got
A fairy-tale plot
Our very own happy ending
Where we couldn't be happier -
True, dear?
Couldn't be happier
And we're happy to share
Our ending vicariously
With all of you
He couldn't look handsomer
I couldn't feel humbler
We couldn't be happier
Because happy is what happens
When all your dreams come true!
Sung in a sarcastic tone, the girl who seemingly got everything she wanted isn't as happy as she expected she would be. And I'm afraid of that happening to all of us. What if that perfect husband-job-apartment-house-dog-children plan isn't all it's cracked up to be. What if we get it all, and are still unhappy. What is missing from my sister's friend's life that is leaving her unsatisfied and bored? How do I prevent that from happening to me? How do I help my sister and friends so that it doesn't happen to them? We shouldn't have to convince ourselves that we are happy, like Glinda was doing in the song.

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